The End Where I Begin...

The End Where I Begin...

Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Road Less Traveled

Well since I slacked on getting my blog out last week after the German GP, I guess we can start there. Leading up into the German GP, I had rode during the week in practice roughly 4 times for the 2 months. Safe to say, my fitness was going to be tested. LOL. It was good to be back, and was good to be back refreshed after being home with some friends, celebrating my 20th birthday, and also being able to train in the ways I am use to. Going into Sunday in Germany, I had 9th Qualification gate pick, and was enjoying things they way they should be enjoyed. After the first race Sunday morning I found myself in 8th on the first lap, and was breathing heavier then a hooker in church. Got into 7th place and kind of hung in there till the end. A 7th isn’t where I deserve to be, or where I train to be obviously, but it was a step in the right direction for me. Turns out things I did not know, I got a 7th of a stock Husky engine, and also put in the best result of the year for Husky and the first top 10 since 2003 for Husky. Race 2 was another good start and on lap 2 sitting in 6th position I developed a injection issue and wasn’t comfortable to continue with the conditions. Having equaled my best finish of last year, given the circumstances I was dealt, I felt that was a pretty decent finish and something to be a little relieved about after struggling for the entire year.
Fermo GP was not what I had hoped for. I was wishing to leave off Europe with one last decent result, things just didn’t fall into place for that to happen. Honestly it was a horrible weekend. 14-13 for a 12th over all. It wasn’t exactly my cup of tea. First race Sunday morning on about lap 3 or 4 I had come up short on a double jump due to a loss of power we have been experiencing, and some how chunked a bit of my clutch finger off, witch later lead to a small crash. Rode the entire day with pretty much no clutch. 2nd race wasn’t much better, being already completely exhausted from the lack of being able to ride between the GP weekends, I simply just couldn’t push myself forward. I guess I couldn’t expect to be able to do so for 2x40 minutes after hardly riding much due to multiple reasons. At the end of the day,the season is finished here for me and the GP’s this year, and am not sure what 2012 will have in store for me. I have a feeling I will be racing in the states, and plan to use the things I have learned here in Europe to gain momentum moving forward. 
They say the extra mile is always lonely. I never understood that comment till the past few weeks. I came to Europe to get some good results, and make a solid name for myself world wide, instead I did something a little different. I built a better, stronger me off the bike. The things that I have gone through the past 2 years have broken me down, and made me fix my weaknesses. Some people can say I didn’t fix anything… Some people would also say coming to Europe was a big mistake… I can tell you that without the things I have been forced to go through the past 2 years, I would never be the racer, also the person I strive to be in life. People can say I am just a spoiled American that doesn’t know what it is like to struggle, or a kid that forgot how to ride the past two years. I can tell you that if the truth about what I really dealt with here was told, everyone would have a different view of respect for me. Except I am not going to talk down and stoop down to other people’s level and do the same. Although I guess you can say from the results side, 7th is as good as I did here in Europe. Am I pleased with that? No, I am not. What I am pleased with are things I overcame mentally. I also met some people that will be life long friends of mine, and am so thankful to have had many of the great experiences that I got to have. Me being away from my father, and away from the easiness of being home and having a huge support group around me 24/7 allowed me to be forced to deal with things. I have never been the strongest rider from a mental standpoint of things, and I didn’t exactly realize that till half way through the GP season of 2010.
Strange enough the past few weeks I realized something better then a result, and better then a lot of other things. Looking back on 2011, I believe I came full circle with my life. Sitting here over looking the Adriatic sea in Italy thinking about last year, I remember feeling uncertain. Having doubt in myself and doubt in my future. Strange enough through all of this I am confident in myself and really for the first time. I guess it took losing everyone else’s faith in me, to be faithful in myself. This is a lesson that I have ran from my entire life, and being here I was forced to learn to overcome things that I never would have at home.
As the final days here in Europe wind down to the end, and I prepare to head back home to the states, I find myself not regretting the things I had at one point about coming here to Europe. I find myself being able to learn from mistakes and being able to appreciate so many things other people take for granted. So many memories here I will remember for the rest of my life, and the different places in the world I got to see are unforgettable. I am a 20 year old American motocross racer that has had an experience some never have in a life time and I am thankful to all the people that made things possible for me here in Europe. Who knows, one day I could be back again when the opportunity is a little better then they have been. Life takes you places you would never think you would go, and you have to learn to dance in the rain. Literally with all the damn mud races. LOL.
For now, and what comes next? I am on a mission to put the pieces of my puzzle together and prove everything above to myself, and anyone that doubts my capability as a racer. I am ready to put the dream of my childhood into reality, and do it on purpose. Not by luck. Back into training season, and focused in on 2012 with nothing left on the table.
Check back in for updates, video’s, pictures, and all the other stuff going on in my life. I’ll be updating weekly. Goodbye Europe! And hello America!

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