The End Where I Begin...

The End Where I Begin...

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Grand Prix Lommel

Here I sit in a lovely laundry mat in the center of lommel, Belgium. I sit here thinking about what it is I can talk about this week. Have you ever have words actually scare you? Ever have a date on the calendar you just aren’t looking forward to? Haha. I do! Well, I am here in Belgium, and have been now for 1 week. Love it here, just about everything except for that thing called sand. Originally I was planning to move here in January because of my sand weakness. As I mentioned, been here for about a week and was able to ride a few days in the sand. First time I have rode with the Husqvarna in the sand as well. Had some bike problems the first few days, but was able to work everything out for at least one good day in the sand. It has been a pretty tough go at it here since I made the come back to the GP’s, and I have a feeling it is going to get tougher before I make it happen here by the end of the season! The team and everyone here understand’s my lack of performance in sand and we all realize for me it is more of a survival race, then results. Although, I am a racer and at the end of the day I am going to do the best I can. It is what I do. For those of you that don’t know the sand here in Belgium and have not seen it first hand, I suggest you be sure to witness it before making an opinion. It is nothing short of brutal. In a weird way, I am excited for it.

Setting a new challenge for myself this weekend, to have as much fun as physically possible. For one reason and that being, if I do not have fun with it, I can tell you from last year… It “will” be hell. Not going to let that happen though. Other then that, life has been on the up and up. I really feel focused for right now, and am finally looking forward instead of backwards. Been a lot to take in since last March, and glad to see myself moving in the correct direction. I know the results have not been showing near enough to my capability level, and I am fully aware of it. I am changing things up a lot right now and I am sure the results are coming soon. Rebounding hasn’t been this difficult for me in the past, and I am glad to be slowly standing up on my own two feet for the first time. For right now I do not know what lies ahead of me in the near future, although one thing I am sure of is I am breaking down walls that have been in my way for a long time. This is worth more then a result to me. Many people at home have seen first hand my true colors on a bike, and I know they are still in there… Can’t wait till they shine again.

Well, with that said, tomorrow is race day at the track. Going to be an interesting one and looking forward to putting it in the past. HAHA. Check back in next week for some insight from the weekend

Monday, July 18, 2011

The First Flash

The last few months haven’t been anything short of a struggle for me. Explanation for not writing any blog’s as well I suppose. Lately, many things seem to little too late, regardless of the subject. We all have high’s and lows, and the reason is not something so easy to find from time to time. I am not so sure we ever truly know the answers. What I do know is it is all a time of growth for a better tomorrow. Just sometimes that tomorrow, isn’t exactly “tomorrow”. My buddy JL111 told me something last week that made complete sense to me and opened my eyes. "Life is about knocking down one wall at a time. How fast you can knock down walls that are put before you is only a matter of how much stronger you are becoming." Yeah ok, may sound simple and easy, but it was one of those times where it fit perfectly into my life. Life has challenges, the only thing we can do is knock down the walls, regardless of the situation. I suppose some are thicker then others:)…
At the moment I am on an airplane somewhere over Sweden, and looking out of this airplane window is once again showing me how blessed I am to do what I am doing. Take away the pain, the struggles, and whatever life has thrown my way… Do I really need to be complaining? No. I like to anyways though… LOL. Just playing. Anyways, the past 4 GP’s  haven’t been good for some reasons… So we can move right on to the last GP this past weekend in Kegums, Latvia. I have decided it is by far my favorite place in Europe. From the culture of life, the people, the women, the track, even the hotels. “Trust me the Hotels are a big deal to me”… LOL. Place is nothing short of a respectful way to live life and I was happy to be back there and enjoying somethings for the first time in a while. 
Saturday was a struggle for me all day like the past few months and the harder I pushed, the worse off I was with it. Sunday was the first flash of light I have seen in my riding since last March. I know to have a 15th in the first moto is not saying much, because myself, as well as whoever else knows me, knows I am much more capable then that. However, my lap times were good enough to put me top 7. During the past GP’s I have been good enough for… 13th? Not a great feeling. Second moto was better as well, with good lap times to carry me into 8th-9th in Moto 2 and even 5th best in the moto, except for just one small problem. When things go good, I like to make them that much harder, and decided after stuffing my foot under my foot peg to call it a day after making my way through a lot of the pack. I will be ok and just need to carry the good from the race and give my foot some time to heal up.
It is quite relieving to see some speed that hasn’t been there for some time. Funny how much your thinking can change when you don’t see anything good for a while, because a little brightness can mean a lot. My life has been off the rails for a while, and I am not letting up till I am back on. I know the man upstairs has his plans for me, and I know everything that has been in my life, isn’t for the price of nothing at all. So for now I am keeping my head down, and focusing on one thing, myself. I was planning to head home for a bit in August for my birthday, but looks as if I will be staying here instead. I was excited to make my way home and see some people, but you never realize what you have, till it is what you had. 
Oh well, life is life and we can only learn. Learn to dance in the rain I like to say. Next week I am headed to Belgium to finally get myself in some sand to practice before the grueling GP of Lommel. Catch me next week. CIAO!