Spilling the beans…
So the weekend was basically full of DNF’s. One due to mechanical issues and one due to a second moto crash smashing my hand up a little. Although on a bright note, last year I was 19th best lap time and the second moto this year before my wreck I had 11th best time. Yeah, just a lap time I know. Although I did improve surprisingly… This week I would like to just write a little bit more about lessons in life, instead of dirt bikes. I already stressed last week on the brutality of the Lommel GP, so why do more blogging on that?
I am currently sitting in a café in Belgium, looking out over the river watching the sun go down, thinking a little to much back on the year. We are four GP’s out of the end of the season and gathering the thoughts throughout the year are quite a journey to look back on. From coming over January 22nd and seeing snow on the ground with my mother, to this moment right now… haven’t exactly had one of those “easy going moments” if you know what I mean. I guess things were going well for me till about March 17th, the day I long darted in 5th gear to the top of my head… Before that I had some good speed, and was actually adapting quite well to everything, and then that kind of went south. Rode this thing called a couch for 3 months, literally. In that time I managed to mess some special things up which was out of character for myself. Although I learned lessons I will never have to learn again is a positive. After returning to Portugal GP with 2 days on the bike before hand since 3 months prior, I had this thing called a “reality check”. I knew the meaning of this word, but probably the first time I really experienced it. So from there I struggled with a bit of a character change in myself from March and just wasn’t the Michael Leib a lot of you know I am. Not to mention, quiet a bit of mechanical problems resulting in DNF’s. So struggling to get back into shape, I was simply rolling through the motions trying to get on my feet. Had a few top 15 finishes, and just never got back to normal. My father came out for 2 GP’s the beginning of July, and either a wreck on the start for me in Germany, or some mechanical issues, once again I was feeling a step back from where I started in Portugal in April. Then came along Latvia, first flash of something in a long time. After we got the bugs worked out of the bike Saturday and first moto Sunday, I ran lap times that would have put me into the top 8 in moto 2. In this moment, I folded a foot under the peg to DNF that as well. Lommel was an expectation of top 17 for me. Well, at least a goal from the previous 23rd over all in 2010. Had some bike issues Saturday and first moto Sunday, and once again second moto was 11th best time in the moto, HUGE IMPROVEMENT for me… but then a crash would lead to a nice bump on the hand and to much pain to continue. DNF. So I said before this was going to be a blog not about the bike… Here is where I get to that part.
So where does that past leave you as far as a mental state of mind? Leaves you in two places… I can answer that saying, I wonder why a lot, although it is teaching me faith. We get tested, some more then others… I always used to be the one to wonder why it is easier for some and not others... That is not exactly going to do me any good now is it? I am 19 years old, traveling the world racing dirt bikes. I may not be getting the results or the respect I deserve, although I am learning things people don’t in a lifetime. It has taken till now to change how I think, and how I look at things. People say you are as good as your last race… Someone that has been very helpful to me lately is a person from Austria. Name of Cauldio Pica. He told me, “there are 1.7 million people in Japan who are going to work everyday… Do you think 1 of those people give a damn about your last race?” No they do not. No matter what you are doing or chasing in your life, you must understand people don’t care as much as we think they do. In other words, “a worry is a down payment you may never have, so why waste the money?” Through out my career I have worried about what people think, and what they will say about me after a performance. People are going to say what they want, regardless true or false. So many of us are guilty for letting others control our lives without even noticing. Before you realize it your life begins to spin out of control, for a reason so small. We makemistakes, we learn, and most of the time we do it all over again because we get lazy. Life is full of walls although only to see how bad we want to get to the other side. Many of us get lazy, and a lot of the times forget the reason we do things in the first place. Speaking for myself, everyday I try to better myself although often forget the reason of it. The reason being is I refuse to except to sit back and watch life pass me by. I want to be the best I can be. That is all we can be anyways. There is no line saying, if you don’t make it this far in life you failed. Your personal best is just as good as the thing you dream of every night. We all fail at things… What would it be if we all succeeded with everything? Life wouldn’t have so much of a meaning. Don’t be afraid to fail, because more then not, you most likely will. It is those that come back time after time to eventually succeed that make the journey worth while. I guess what I am trying to say is, life is short, don’t let thing’s get between you and your goals. Enjoy life and learn from the mistakes.
Anyway, sorry to change it up a little this week, just felt like a change for the blog. Off to Czech in the morning for the weekend, hope for a good one! Should be a mud race. The jet ski is loaded and ready though. The weekend after is my 20th birthday, unreal. Life is starting to go by faster each day it seems. I will post a new blog mid next week. Take care, see you around!